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Location:Purdue, University, United States

I have a need for coffee with my oxygen.

Monday, October 31, 2005

Uh.. yeah.

What would you like to know about my life?

Thursday, October 27, 2005


Have you ever had a moment where someone says something simple and honest, and it floors you beyond belief?

Sometimes the simple words that mean nothing in a novel or are not considered "the greatest words ever put together" have the most meaning...

... funny how that works.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

So I’m in Alpha Phi Omega, which is basically boy scouts for the college student, then add some females to the mix, then add things like “Meals on Wheels” and “Playing Euchre with the people in the retirement home” and then you have APO.

I even have to know the Boy Scout motto for this group.

So our pledge class is known as the “Schroeders” which looks like its pronounced “Schroeder” but it is actually pronounced “Schraader” it’s confusing as hell.
Anyway, the Schroeders are supposed to come up with a slogan for our class… Our slogan

“We would come up with a slogan but we were too busy having sex”

And that, my friends, sums up my entire pledge class.

It was actually one of the most fitting slogans I’ve ever seen.
Other runner ups were “F.U.C.K. stands for Friends U Can Keep, so I say we F.U.C.K. forever”
and “Your slogan is like your special area, you are the one who gets to choose who can touch it”
and my favorite “If you pole dance like Pivo (she is a female in our pledge class) then you must be one of us.”

Notice the sexual innuendos?

So every year the pledges have to play a prank on the actives, when my brother pledged they paper clipped 400 dixie cups together, covering the floor and table in the APO office, and then filled them with water. My year, BALLOONS, enough balloons that the entire office was filled to the top of the table with them. Over 10,000 of them, that were all blown up from 11pm to 2am. So what was everyone’s away message the next day?

“Schroeders did 10,000 blow jobs in less than three hours”

Monday, October 24, 2005

So this weekend, I got maybe 4 hours of sleep total.
It was an amazing weekend though...

Friday night was Overnighter, it was awesome. I didn't sleep at all during it. I was too busy dancing and running around from overdoses of sugar to notice that it was 5 am.

Saturday night... Well.. that was beyond interesting. It was odd. Everything about Saturday was odd.

Sunday night 20 of us Schroeders (APO pledge class) blew up 10,000 balloons. At 2 am when we were done, we decided that it would be a great idea to go to Steak and Shake.

I love APO.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Neil Hudelson: A Poem
Caring PT Buddy
Sex Offender
Loving Pledge Parent
Child Molester
Famed Picture Taker
Possible Pedophile
Friendship Standard
Chapter Whore
Shining Example
A man who swings
Easy-Going Active
I love my pledge mom, who wrote this.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Ok so here is the REAL story...

So this story went around the grapevine at an alarming rate.

For those few people who haven't already heard it, here is how it happened:

So Paul, (friend I've had for 7 years) invited Katie and I (my best friend and I) over to his house because people (Nate and Mark) were over there drinking.... shit, it sounds bad already....

So we have 5 people, the one in a suit decides he can't stay any longer because... well... he was in a suit and tie. So we have 4 people, the one who has to work the next morning then leaves, and we have 3 people.
Paul, Katie, and I decided to drink some more.
Wait... Katie and I decided to drink some more.
Paul cooked us food.

So jokingly I pulled one of Paul's belts off the wall and started hitting Katie with it, she got annoyed and I put it back.
Then Paul pulls out a pair of fuzzy handcuffs out of nowhere and in a very Jerry Springerish style threw them between Katie and I and gave us an expression like, "Here, do something with these."

Katie and I were drunk.. ok?!?

So at first it was a war between Katie and I with the handcuffs (who can handcuff who), then we got bored and Paul and I decided to argue about the definitions of Sadism and Masochism, I won, but I had to go onto his computer to prove it. Apparently while I was at his computer he got ahold of the handcuffs and managed (it was probably easy) to get me handcuffed with my hands behind my back.

Katie thought it was "Hilarious."

So there I am, looking up definitions of S&M and I'm handcuffed.
I was suddenly reminded of the movie Secretary.
After a brief discussion of the movie Secretary while I was handcuffed, Katie finally took pity on me and unhandcuffed me. So I, in turn, handcuffed her to the door.

I thought it was "Hilarious."

Around that time I realized how drunk I was, I had donated blood earlier that day and I'm pretty sure my tolerance was low. So it was time for Anna to pass out.

At first I was going to walk home, then Katie said "No" because she too was very drunk, so I passed out in Paul's bed. Katie joined me a while later, and Paul a while after that.

So when I woke up at 5 am, I realized that I was in a bed, with someone I've known for 7 years and my best friend. Feeling a little weird, I got out of the bed, got my shoes in the dark, found a hoodie in the living room, and walked home.

That was the night, in accurate detail. NO sex was involved, NO S&M was played, and NO lesbianism happened.
It was innocent as much as a pair of handcuffs and three people in a bed can be.


My brother even found out about this story.
Scary enough.
My brother and I (Thanks to APO) have learned a lot about each other this year. We've learned so much that my brother can easily listen to stories about me in bed with a guy and a girl and I can easily laugh at the package of condoms in the car that we share (I even hung them from the rear view mirror!).

When Neil said, "APO will change you" I didn't realize what he meant.

The best pumpkin ever.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

So today I donated blood.

I was a little nervous considering the last time I went to donate the lady stuck me 4 times in my right arm with the needle, got frustrated, and then stuck the needle in my left arm and miraculously found a vein (I am right handed). At the very end of a long 45 minutes, my blood ran out and she just barely was able to fill up the four viles of blood she needed to test on.

So this time I was worried.

The lady looked at both of my veins after I told her the story of the last time I donated. She said she'd definitely find the vein in my right arm. So I trusted her.
She had me hooked up, poked me ONCE, and the blood started flowing, she first filled up the four viles she needed and then started the rest into the bag. She turned to the person next to me and started helping them out of the chair. She turned back to me after a minute, and looked down below my chair with a look of concern, and said, "My you bleed fast" then before I could ask what she meant, she turned back to the girl in the chair next to me and said, "Please leave this bandage on for the next 4 to 6 hours," she then helped the girl out of the chair and walked her over to the table.
Meanwhile I started a crossword puzzle because the average length I had seen in the chair was 30 minutes.

What could have not been more than 3 minutes after she left my area she returned, looked at the bag I was bleeding into and with a look of concern said, "I think you are done."

5 minutes I bled an entire pint of blood.
When she was bandaging me, she simply said, "Please leave this on for 6 hours."

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Anna Needs... to be called a saucy minx every once in awhile.

Or a stalker.... oooo I just love a good stalker.

I'm insane.... officially.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Bacardi and Cola, they get the job done.

Last night we went drinking and dancing. I’d say who the collective “we” broke down into... but I don’t have time to write down that many names.
So on with the story.
It was Wendy’s birthday and everyone was told they’d have to go out whether they really wanted too or not. Katie and I got ready and did our hair, and then went to pick up Paul, Paul got ready and did his hair (he takes soooooo long) and then we did some last minute errands. Got back to the apartment, and made Greg get ready (doesn’t take as long but still quite a bit of time was taken on his part too) and then we were set. After 20 minutes of sitting and ready to go, CJ showed up and we hit the bars, Nate was the last to arrive because he does crazy things like “earning money” and shit like that so he had to meet us there.

We get there and the Bacardi Girls were already out and about. The CollectiveWe didn’t know about the girls arriving, but we weren’t disappointed. They had set up a cage and everything in the center of the dance floor. So the CollectiveWe met more and more of our CollectiveWe group and then everyone got drinks and hit the dance floor. It was the usual, dance for awhile, sit for awhile, dance for awhile, sit for awhile… then suddenly I got a wild streak and it was like “Girl’s Gone Wild” all over again and I wanted to go to the cage to dance. I looked over at Katie and she saw “the need to dance in the cage but can’t do it alone” look in my eyes and said simply, “Let’s Go.”

I need to stop a minute and tell the audience that it was at this point that my love for Katie truly blossomed. Katie did not judge my behavior or say something like, “Are you serious?!” in that sarcastic tone or say something like, “Hell no, you can go alone.” She simply knew that I had to go, and that she had to go with me.
I Heart Katie.

Ok back to the story.

After leaving early, passing out, waking up to some alpha male pounding on my door, coming out of my room in PJs only to find CJ and Wendy shoving penis cake all over each other (um… another blog post entirely) and then going to my room to pass out again. I found the night to be quite entertaining.
I wonder what the rest of the weekend will be like.

And in case you didn’t notice that I left out the part of the night where I was in the cage (oh yes, I was), I would just like to say that “Sorry” there is no way in hell that I will ever repeat what happened in that cage… but I shall always have my memories… and God willing no pictures will surface.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Today I had a phone call from a person who donates money to my office. She is a supporter of the arts and I guess didn't understand how the donations work.
Here is how it works:
You (the average person with more money than they know what to do with) donates money to us (the organization that brings you such shows as Cats and Fiddler on the Roof) and we (same org.) give you nice tickets for the shows listed above. The more money you give, the closer you get to the stage, and for those few individuals that chop off their right arm to donate, we'll let you even touch the actors.

It's the people that donate 50 bucks that I have the most problems with. Mr. 10,000 dollar donor is fine sitting in the back of the auditorium and using binoculars to view the opera, in fact, he prefers it. Mrs. 50 dollar donor expects front row seating with champagne and shad roe served to her on a silver platter.

Ugh, I hate self absorbed people.

So Mrs. 50 dollar donor calls today and she wants priority seating for our show Berenstain Bears on Stage! (of all the lame shows to get priority seating on). Priority seating is something we do for our "friends" and in exchange they give us absorbent amounts of money. This is always done around June and everyone is told the deadline in which you need to have ordered your tickets to get the special seating. After that, you are Joe Shmoe when it comes to seating.

I explained that to her in a much more diplomatic way and she didn't seem to get it. She explained to me, in a very breathy voice that sounded like she sat around all day in satin eating Godiva chocolates, that she donates a lot of money every year (50 dollars, I checked while she was talking) and that she wants her little grandchild to have the closest seating possible. So I told her she could sit middle of the auditorium to the back or in the balcony.

She replied with, "So some person off the street could buy the tickets next to me if they wanted right?" I replied with a "Yes" and she hung up on me.

Man... who does she think she is and who does she think will buy the tickets next to her? A homeless man? A serial killer?

I wonder if she'll wear a boa and satin to the show... I hope some little kid throws up on her.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Sex and the City

Katie and I are Carrie and Charolette of Sex and the City.

We drink like them, date like them, and even shop like them.

Anyone care to be the other members?

Katie and I are becoming so thick as thieves that we actually fell asleep together last night. Then our male friends picked us up and put us in our respective rooms.

It was quite the interesting night.