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Location:Purdue, University, United States

I have a need for coffee with my oxygen.

Sunday, July 31, 2005

I Oughtta Give You A Shot In The Head For Making Me Live In This Dump ...

*Shivaree album - I thought it was a good title for this post, and I love the band.. Can't go wrong..

The song Goodnight Moon by Shivaree is a song about one girl who gets terrified being by herself. She imagines things like sharks in the pool and something scratching through the walls. Imagination gets the best of her.
Well, my imagination isn't getting the best of me. I am living in hell.
It's not the dog on the floor scaring me though... Its the clothes on the floor. Yes. I'm living in apartment hell with my brother.

I've put off writing about this for a long time. Partly because I was in denial that there was any real problem, partly because I won't even invite my friends over to this mess because it's so humiliating and embarrassing.

My brother is a dirty boy. Making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich turns into a world class nightmare. Looking at it from a forensic scientist point of view, I believe my brother spreads the peanut butter on the bread, then sets the knife down repeatedly on the counter causing a little bits of peanut butter and jelly to stick to the counter, next he rubs his knuckles in the mess on the counter and then opens the fridge causing more peanut butter and jelly to stick to the fridge handle and door. Also, I realize he drinks milk with his sandwich because I found peanut butter on the bottom of the milk jug and on the handle. This is only after cleaning in the kitchen did I come to this conclusion.

So I fight a neverending battle with my brother. He messes things up, and I clean it. At this point, you are probably wondering why I put up with it. All I can say is that my brother is 6'5" and strong, and I'm 5'8" and weak. It's like I'm Iraq telling America to stop fucking up my counters. What do I do? I guess I could bomb America, killing myself in the process, but it wouldn't really help my counters, because America would still fuck them up.

So I suffer, hoping one day America will leave the premise. That one day is quickly approaching. The peace treaty has been signed (aka, new lease) and America has promise to leave within the next 11 days. This time, I'm ready to bomb America if they don't leave, so I feel right now like a time bomb waiting to explode.

My brother would kill me right now if he knew I was comparing him to America.


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