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Location:Purdue, University, United States

I have a need for coffee with my oxygen.

Sunday, July 31, 2005

I Oughtta Give You A Shot In The Head For Making Me Live In This Dump ...

*Shivaree album - I thought it was a good title for this post, and I love the band.. Can't go wrong..

The song Goodnight Moon by Shivaree is a song about one girl who gets terrified being by herself. She imagines things like sharks in the pool and something scratching through the walls. Imagination gets the best of her.
Well, my imagination isn't getting the best of me. I am living in hell.
It's not the dog on the floor scaring me though... Its the clothes on the floor. Yes. I'm living in apartment hell with my brother.

I've put off writing about this for a long time. Partly because I was in denial that there was any real problem, partly because I won't even invite my friends over to this mess because it's so humiliating and embarrassing.

My brother is a dirty boy. Making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich turns into a world class nightmare. Looking at it from a forensic scientist point of view, I believe my brother spreads the peanut butter on the bread, then sets the knife down repeatedly on the counter causing a little bits of peanut butter and jelly to stick to the counter, next he rubs his knuckles in the mess on the counter and then opens the fridge causing more peanut butter and jelly to stick to the fridge handle and door. Also, I realize he drinks milk with his sandwich because I found peanut butter on the bottom of the milk jug and on the handle. This is only after cleaning in the kitchen did I come to this conclusion.

So I fight a neverending battle with my brother. He messes things up, and I clean it. At this point, you are probably wondering why I put up with it. All I can say is that my brother is 6'5" and strong, and I'm 5'8" and weak. It's like I'm Iraq telling America to stop fucking up my counters. What do I do? I guess I could bomb America, killing myself in the process, but it wouldn't really help my counters, because America would still fuck them up.

So I suffer, hoping one day America will leave the premise. That one day is quickly approaching. The peace treaty has been signed (aka, new lease) and America has promise to leave within the next 11 days. This time, I'm ready to bomb America if they don't leave, so I feel right now like a time bomb waiting to explode.

My brother would kill me right now if he knew I was comparing him to America.

Friday, July 29, 2005

What I wouldn't give for a man to club me over the head and drag me by my hair...

So in Indiana people are simple.
Simple cars like a Dodge fully-loaded diesel truck.
Simple houses like a trailer with a nice dog to bite the mailman.
Simple habits like spitting tobacco juice on the ground.

Add. More. Sarcasm.

To be honest, there are several very wonderful people in Indiana. I've met them. I know they exist. If it wasn't for them I would have found a school in California to go to.

But lets talk about the bad. They are much more entertaining.

Today I walked from my car to the parking garage stairs with two boxes that were very heavy. I got the door open somehow and managed to get myself and all the boxes into the stairwell without falling. It was amazing. So I start my descent only to get to the bottom and realize that someone was coming in the doorway I needed to go out of. I stepped to the side to let three very disgusting men pass. The aroma that past me was a mixture of stale cigarettes and body oder and the men that passed me looked like they were one step away from having just rolled on a dirt ground. People are hard working, I understand, I wouldn't have said all of this unless I had a reason to hate them. My reason happened two moments after the doorway opened. All three men looked at me as if I was naked and then made it very apparent that they liked the thought. They sniggered to each other, and eyes slide up and down me. After being mentally raped like that I was happy to get out of that doorway, but that didn't happen for me. No, you see, those three men, let the door fall shut. Yes. I have two heavy boxes, I've just been mentally raped and now the door is shut. So I had to set down the boxes, and open the door to get out of my trap in hell.
I can still hear the sniggers and murmurs as I quickly left the doorway.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Today the only person that is appealing to me is one that has every nasty thing that they've said written down on cardboard and shoved down their throat.

People are so wonderful that they make me want to do the splits over a bed of hot coals, while two babies are screaming incessantly in my ear, and a couple of piranhas are eating away at my nipples, just so I can stop them from being so wonderful.


If anyone does not get the sarcasm of this post or makes one comment about my nipples then I sentence them to be dragged out to the middle of the street and shot.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Picture or painting?

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Guess What? The Nazis didn't lose the war after all. They won it and flourished. They took over the world and wiped out every last Jew, every last Gypsy, black, East Indiana, and American Indian. Then, when they were finished with that, they wiped out the Russians and the Poles and the Bohemians and the Moravians and the Bulgarians and the Serbians and the Croatians – all the Slavs. Then they stared in on the Polynesians and the Koreans and the Chinese and the Japanese – all the peoples in Asia. This took a long, long time, but when it was over, everyone in the world was one hundred percent Aryan, and they were all very, very happy.

Naturally the textbooks used in the schools no longer mentioned any race but the Aryan or any language but German or any religion but Hitlerism or any political system but National Socialism. There would have been no point. After a few generations of that, no one could have put anything different into the textbooks even if they’d wanted to, because they didn’t know anything different.

But one day two young students were conversing at the University of New Heidelberg in Tokyo. Both were handsome in the usual Aryan way, but one of them looked vaguely worried and unhappy. That was Kurt. His friend said, “What’s wrong Kurt? Why are you always moping around like this?” Kurt said, “I’ll tell you, Hans. There is something that’s troubling me – and troubling me deeply.” His friend asked what it was. “It’s this,” Kurt said. “I can’t shake the crazy feeling that there is some small thing that we’re being lied to about.”
-Ishmael by Daniel Quinn

Famous Phrase, "You're Fired"

My boss asked me to clean out two people's desk yesterday, one was an 1.5 hour job and the other would probably have taken me 3 minutes if I had remembered to do it. I think the only thing that was in it was a set of files and a coffee mug.

The came today to take the desks away and I suddenly realized that I forgot about one of the desks.

Anna: Oh My Gosh, Kerry! (boss) I forgot to clean out Joe's desk!
Kathy: Oh Well we did your job for you...
Kerry: Well, Anna, You're Fired.

I love the sarcasm in this office.

Monday, July 25, 2005

A midday e-mail to Katie...


So my mom is a tight wad. My family has money my mother refuses to spend it. It’s a battle I’ve always fought with her. So when I mentioned the movers, my mom immediately said no... whatever, I’ll pay for it myself, I’d rather watch 100 dollars go down the drain than to have my dad and brother throw out their backs. I’m much different than my mom I guess.

So I dropped it, and I was going to tell you this weekend that I was going to just give you a check for 100 dollars (I also forgot to give you the 77 dollar check in my wallet and to cancel the phone line... sigh.. I’ll be sending you mail soon).

Anyway, I get an e-mail today that says this,


I'm making plans for moving you on the 13th of August (Saturday). "

MAKING PLANS TO MOVE ME, ON THE 13TH NO LESS? Sigh. I have completely explained the situation of everyone having to move out and back in on August 11th and that we can’t do it at any other time.

Secondly, the e-mail says,

"Also, I'm thinking of booking a room in the Hilton Garden Inn next to your new apartment. It's normally $201 per night, but I've been cruising the Internet for bargains and I've got it down to $99. I thought it would be nice to be able to relax and swim after a day of moving you."

99 DOLLARS?!?!?!?!?! You can only begin to guess how mad this made me. She’s ready for my dad to throw out his back, but then she’ll have the evening to swim in the indoor pool, so it’s all ok.

Sigh… I needed to vent. Thank you for listening.

To the best roommate in the world,


It's just another manic monday...

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

You are spoon guy. You should have planned ahead
buddy, or packed a bigger lunch.

which rejected character are you?

I hate to say this... but I like Rejected Cartoons. Sometimes when I eat cereal in the morning.. I say to myself.. "My Spoon Is Too Big"
Sad.. I know.

You make quite an impression on others right now. The reaction you get might strike you as unusual. Just go with the flow, understanding that not everyone is predictable. Others admire how you handle your responsibilities. Tonight: Just be yourself.

Just be yourself? How is that going to help me? This horoscope acts as if I have a life outside of work.

I don't, in case you didn't see the memo on your desk.

My typical night involves what I like to call, "me time." I realize with "me time" I become much more self-centered. Not a good quality to throw in with "Overly Opinionated" and "Bluntly Honest." I think this horoscope is trying to tell me to get a life. Isn't it nice, someone far, far away has put down that I make "impressions" on people, but doesn't specify what kind of "impressions." I guess my "Cynical" side tells me that those impressions aren't very good and people will react badly and then become unpredictable, while others stand back and admire how I tell the impressionable, unpredictable people to go fly a kite. Because you know, its my responsibility to do so.

Maybe my history teacher was right... I should have become a lawyer.. I can draw implications from anything.

Thank you for my venting time.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Today I hit rock bottom and I ate the world’s worst piece of chocolate.
As I put it to my lips I could hear the makers of Godiva, Cadbury, and even Hershey (yes it was that bad) cry out in horror that I would stoop so low. I had to do it though… I was stressed… and any woman can dispute that when stress hits there are only a few things you can do to alleviate it. Eating chocolate is one… the rest of the options weren’t viable for the work place, or for me.

It’s funny I always pictured Godiva makers to be very gay and all perfectionists (because Godiva is perfection), I don’t know why I get this feeling whenever I pick up a piece of it, maybe it’s because it is perfect, or maybe it’s because of the two gay guys who ran around Barnes and Nobles shouting “Go Diva!!”… Maybe it’s both…

Cadbury I always pictured snobby perfection, not that happy perfection I mentioned before… yes… gay means HAPPY! Like finding perfection in chocolate by a bunch of cold, British gentlemen standing around with cigars and casually tasting the smallest morsel of chocolate and saying, “Oh yes, jolly good chocolate.”

Hershey I picture to be very… American… and since I have dug a hole big enough for my body to my shoulders I’d rather not comment anymore on chocolate because I’m pretty sure I could throw in something like, “right-winged, Christian chocolate” and then my head would be under ground… or is… already.
This discussion of chocolate will be prelude to the movie I will see this weekend.

I’m so excited to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Friday, July 15, 2005

Today as I walked home I got caught in a sudden burst of rain.
It was bad enough that I found a over hang on the side of a building to stand under. As I waited there I leaned up again the brick wall only to be surprized by how warm it was. It was a nice feeling to have the warm brick on my back and the cool breeze hitting my face. I decided to sit down on the pavement, open my book and read for 10 minutes until the rain passed. It was also funny to hear the people waiting there with me complaining about how badly they wished their cars to be there instead of the parking garage a few blocks away...

...What a nice moment to make me forget about my depressing weekend that looms on the horizon.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

I am slowly going insane because of my family.
And since it is the season for the Family Reunions, I feel like I would like to share a bit about my family.

Here is how my family works..
1. Grandmother: Cries on the drop of a dime to get her way
2. Aunt: Lawyer = Always right about everything, even her opinions.
3. Mother: Cannot read through Number 1 and 2's games so she takes everything as fact, then gets frustrated and yells at everything.
4,5,6,and 7. Father, Brother, Grandfather, and myself: Once Number 1, 2, and 3 get going in heated "discussions", hide in a dark place.

Numbers 4 through 7 are all very avid readers and we also can entertain ourselves with mindless things if the book is out of reach. I played with a ball for 20 minutes one time, bounce, retrieve, bounce, retrieve.... Endlessly.. Because it was better than venturing downstairs to grab a book during a heated "discussion."

Why do we hide? Because once a long time ago, one of us was brave enough to venture downstairs to get a book and the results were not pretty... NOT PRETTY. Imagine that scene out of Macbeth where those three (notice the significance of 3!) crazy witches were chanting, "Double, double, toil and trouble; Fire burn and cauldron bubble." It was close to that... *shudder*

Notice I'm the only girl hiding? I have no idea why this is. My mother is usually very rational (like I am) until her sister and mother get going then she goes CRAZY. Thank God my mother blessed me with a brother. I can handle brothers. You say things like, "Neil, Good Lord, pick up these dishes and put them in the dishwasher." And he says simple things like, "O.k." or "Go F'ck Yourself" or "I'm sorry, you smell like a caveman and I cannot possibly take orders from a caveman." I can HANDLE all those things.

I think if I had a sister she would quietly put the dishes away while planning on ways to kill me in my sleep.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

This picture makes me laugh. Neil with his crazy curly hair (How come NO ONE else in my family has curly hair!? The INJUSTICE of it... sigh) and Olivia with her deer-in-headlights look. hehe
I should probably get going to work...

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

"I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and
I walk alone "
-Green Day

Today I found out that my Uncle Don didn't come out of surgery very well. He is basically a vegetable with no hope of survival, so they are going to pull him off of life support on Thursday.

His wife (second wife) decided that this is too much for her to handle and has decided to go on vacation. She didn't bother telling anyone either, just left and when people tried to call her to find out about Don, she told them that she has, "washed her hands of it."

I don't understand people.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Camp Part One

So, first thing is first. I went to camp for the weekend. Not just any camp though… this camp is on a lake, and National Geographic has named it number 6 in the "Top Ten most beautiful natural lakes."
Well, how about *that*, Mr. Doubting Mustafa? (Yes I just quoted a Disney movie).

So the area is absolutely beautiful, white sandy beaches, crystal clear water, and not a motor or internet for about ten yards (can you believe they had wireless and electricity? It just ruins my image for this post, I wanted to be “Anna, survival girl, had no comforts of life and survived for 4 days without them” Now I’m just, “Anna, thinks she played it rough, but didn’t”).
I found myself busy doing things like, rock climbing, swimming, canoeing, and being a regular outdoorsy girl (gaining back my image). The thing I am most proud of is doing the “High Ropes Course” which entailed me climbing a 30 foot high ROPE latter and climbing from tree to tree using only different ropes (in case you missed it the first three times, I was being held up 30 feet in the air by ROPES). I know you people, every one of you is reading this going, “Ha Ha Ha, she didn’t do that, she’s making it up,” Well let me tell you, I have PICTURES so that you stop doubting my survival skills…. In trees… yes, my survival skills in trees! If Noah builds an ark again I know I won’t need it, because I have top notch survival skills in trees.

Picture One:

Here I am suiting up for the climb

Picture Two:

Here is a scary sign leading up to the course.

Picture Three:


Picture Four:


Sigh… Well I promise that is me, I swear I did this, I was so proud and now no one believes me. Sigh.

Ok, I’m over it. More to come…

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

You are really going to hate me after reading this post*

*AKA... If I have to suffer with this song then you do too.

Ooh my little pretty one, pretty one.
When you gonna give me some time, Sharona?
Ooh you make my motor run, my motor run.
Gun it comin' off the line Sharona
Never gonna stop, give it up.
Such a dirty mind. Always get it up for the touch
of the younger kind. My my my i yi woo. M M M My Sharona...

Come a little closer huh, ah will ya huh.
Close enough to look in my eyes, Sharona.
Keeping it a mystery gets to me
Running down the length of my thighs, Sharona
Never gonna stop, give it up. Such a dirty mind.
Always get it up for the touch
of the younger kind. My my my i yi woo. M M M My Sharona...

When you gonna give it to me, give it to me.
It is just a matter of time Sharona
Is it just destiny, destiny?
Or is it just a game in my mind, Sharona?
Never gonna stop, give it up.
Such a dirty mind. Always get it up for the touch
of the younger kind. My my my i yi woo. M M M My Sharona...

Happy Thursday People.. aren't you glad you aren't drunk? (trust me on this, you'd not only have this song in your head, but you'd be singing it loudly in public, only to remember on a Monday that on Friday you sang this song, causing you momentary regret for ever drinking in the first place... )


I'm laughing so hard I'm tearing up.

She had me at this paragraph,

"Just to make sure that Mr. Diesel knows just how in demand R. Bear is, she also
enclosed a picture of her with another man. This does spark the competitive
nature in Jermajesty, but it also makes Raiderette look like a bit of
a...err...slut. JERMAJESTY LOVES SLUTS!!! Less work! More sex."

It doesn't even matter that she's talking about stuffed animals... and Jermajesty. ;)

Monday, July 04, 2005

Going to Katie's House

Let me first and foremost say that Chicago is definitely a party place (or maybe just Glen Ellyn? It's still not for sure).
I had an absolute blast when I came to staying the weekend at Katie's home.

Friday: The first night I got there, I was told that we were going to party, first at a house party and then go to the bars. Well the house party turned into one drink, then two drinks, and then I-lost-count drinks, something which I do NOT DO very often. In fact, the last time I did this was the end of my Sophomore year with Paul in his old apartment, that's how much I do something like that. Needless to say, drinking like that gets anyone in trouble and at some point I was standing in a room, covering my mouth, and waiting for Katie to save me. Which she did, and my "almost trouble" turned into nothing (why was I covering my mouth, you ask? Because I was very concerned that I would be kissed whether I wanted it or not, and at the time with the drinks I had, covering my mouth seemed like a fail-proof way to prevent that. Laugh if you must, I know I'm an idiot). Well, passing out for the whole house came and I found myself the next morning laying on a couch wondering what I happened.

Saturday: Saturday came in like a lion and out like a lamb. While the early morning hours provided me with some crazy times, the rest of Saturday was all about recovering from Friday. Katie and I came home, passed out again, re-awoke and then headed to a boat race which was absolutely hilarious. People were crazy trying to get their boat to be the fastest or the one what didn't sink to the bottom of Glen Ellyn Lake. Next, back to home, where we re-dressed, grabbed Katie K. and Amy, and then headed to Naperville's Ribfest. I'd have to say, this Ribfest was quite impressive, featuring Ribs from Australia to Indiana and a show featuring Kenny Wayne Shepard. Not bad for a celebration over ribs and pulled-pork. Then it was home again, where there was some Nintendo and movie watching. And then, that was a rap for Saturday.

Sunday:Sunday came in like a lamb and out like a lion. The morning we spent planning out our day and helping around the house, and then it was off to Taste of Chicago, which was a lot of fun (minus the outstanding crowds and baby carriages) and then the drinking started again. What is a beer among friends? When you are eating cheese fries and hamburgers, you most always need some alcoholic beverage, especially when you aren't paying with "real money" (they had a ticket system set up, so you buy the tickets and then pay for the food with the tickets) it seems a lot easier to buy food when it is just tickets you are paying with. After the Taste, we decided to cancel the fireworks display and then head back to Glen Ellyn for a shower and food. The train ride took awhile but we finally made it. Friends were called and suddenly at 11 in the night, the entire basement was full of people again. This time, for me, it wasn't so scary. I could relax a little more and I didn't drink as much this time around.

Monday: Monday started at 4 in the morning again. Well, that's when I got in my 4 hour nap in. Relaxing took its toll on me at this point and at 9 a.m. I found myself awake (I hate those biological alarm clocks that wake you up no matter how late you stayed up the night before) and ready to go again.
We (Katie and her family) went to the Fourth of July parade and then spent most of the day cooking and trying to stay awake (I failed only once at this game). Friends came over one last time, and I found myself really sad to go back to my lonely empty apartment. It seems that friends can be made overnight and I wasn't ready to leave such a cozy environment.

I guess Tuesday will go back to my usual routine of waking up early, going to work and class, coming home to pasta, and then calling it an early night. Is this what the "real world" entails? No wonder my mom says to "live it up now."

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Willy Wonka is semi-sweet and nuts

Let's boogie.

So I was looking about what people were saying about Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (or should I say, Charlie et la Chocolaterie, sounds like Godiva chocolate more than Easter Bunny candy) and I found a thread labeled, "Is Tim Burton in love with Johnny Depp?"

First Response: "Johnny has 41 movies and only 5 were with Burton.. (yadda yadda.)"
Second Response: "I think Johnny is in love with Burton... (oi vey.)"
Third Response: (quite funny but irrelevant)"In theory, numerous monkeys with keyboards can produce Shakespeare. IMDB members prove this false. "
Fourth Response: "I think many people in general are in love with Johnny Depp."

And the Fourth Response wins by a landslide (I can't wait for this movie... because.. you know... I love chocolate... right...)!

This weekend:
Eating and Drinking.
I love it!!

Friday, July 01, 2005

Oh Brad…

Oh Johnny…

Haha, I got these two pictures from a site that I can’t read any of the words of. The pictures speak for themselves though. Completely hilarious!