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Location:Purdue, University, United States

I have a need for coffee with my oxygen.

Friday, December 31, 2004

Normally I'd run scared at this picture...

Puppy Love: Poor Bit-Bit. One day he's living the good life in a Malibu pet store with the rest of his pure-bred brethren. The next, he's become the living, breathing accessory for a baby-crazed pop tartlet. Sadly, in this bizarre family tableau, the cowering, naked Chihuahua is the best dressed of the bunch. In their first red carpet appearance as husband and wife, Britney Spears and her other living, breathing accessory, Kevin Federline, wear matching blah beige duds that veer from the dire to plain disastrous. Mrs. Federline chooses a form-fitting micro-mini lace dress that not only fails to flatter, but adds bulges and lumps to her figure. Kevin, meanwhile, tries to remind the Britster of happier times with a Justin Timberlake-ish hat, which he pairs with wrinkly suit and patchy stubble look apparently conceived after the semi-retired newlyweds viewed one too many reruns of "Miami Vice" at their Malibu mansion.

Thursday, December 30, 2004

What he said about South Asia right now verses Americans during 9/11:

I keep telling myself. Over and over again. Tomorrow I'll be at La Scala. This is not to be confused with the La Scala Opera House featured at the left. I'm going to one of the best Italian restaurants I've ever been too. I haven't been for 2 years and Nishant called and made reservations there. I'm so excited. Today was horrid, tomorrow will be so nice. I cannot wait.
I finally got done with e-mailing Nishant's mom back. I think the letter took me about 2 hours to write. I kept writing things down and then erasing them in exclaimation saying, "Why would I write that?!" I think Nishant went through something similar when he said things to my dad like, "I probably shouldn't tell you this, because you are the father of the girl I'm seeing but...."
I hope to drink half a bottle of wine tomorrow night, then go to Nishant's place, watch the new year come and drink coffee until I feel sleepy enough to go to bed. I cannot wait... Only a few more hours...

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Picture from Akshay.
How can anyone not like India?
This summer I spent my time immersed in books and blogs. The one thing they all had in common was India. I read Rushdie, Roy, Theroux, Lahiri, and Ondaatje. Then I picked up blogs, I went to blog after blog after blog looking for people who talked about their life in India. I still have this urge to learn about India. Sadly, it slows down once school starts and I am reduced to just blogs and an occasional book.

Today at work my co-worker said something along the lines of "Oh, thank god I don't live near the Indian Ocean and I live on land no where near an ocean." I just stared at her for a brief second, amazed at her. We don't live near an ocean? Does she think that if North Carolina was wiped out of existence she wouldn't be affected? Does she think that she wouldn't get angry that this was happening to her country? I don't understand people sometimes. She watched me go through page after page in the BBC news looking at picture after picture, and then she said that. How long do American's think they have before they are affected by life? Have you forgotten about 9/11? Pain and suffering are coming. Things like this don't just happen to people different than you. America, do you think that if you pray to a different God, and wear different clothes, and have a different skin tone that you are more prone to have disaster and devastation? Life will hit you at some point. Maybe at 80 maybe at 10. Something will happen to you that will make you realize that life happens and you cannot stop it. I realize this is a rant and I could be wrong, but this is my blog and my belief, this is how I feel.
I think Roy (I know some have strong opinions opposite of her) said it best, in Come September,
"The time has come, the Walrus said. Perhaps things will get worse and then better. Perhaps there's a small god up in heaven readying herself for us. Another world is not only possible, she's on her way. Maybe many of us won't be here to greet her, but on a quiet day, if I listen very carefully, I can hear her breathing."

After madly opening presents all day and seeing Finding Neverland, Nishant and I crashed on christmas evening watching Harry Potter 3 which I got for christmas *yaha*

The next morning we dashed about getting the house in order and then taking off towards Chicago. Nishant made it back to Lafayette and then we (family) trampled on to Chicago. We stayed at The Palmer House, which made life easier. We were only a block away from the Chicago Art Museum and we spent a whole afternoon there. We also shopped like crazy and tried to hit up Second City, but they were sold out.
Then we left on Tuesday morning and headed off towards IKEA and bought lots of stuff there. I got a pretty new IKEA umbrella... Look for me on campus! haha
Looks sort of like this...without the Nikon and add the IKEA

And now I'm home again working. Gotta love Christmas break.
Next stop, December 31st at West Lafayette to see my one and only. We have reservations at La Scala and we are just going to enjoy each other's company.

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Christmas Day

Today has been so nice.
One of the best christmas's ever.
Nishant was here.
I got everything I wanted.
Everyone liked their gifts from me.
Nishant's mom called to tell me that she got my letter.
We played Trivial Pursuit.
We have a huge Honey Baked Ham for dinner.
We are all going to go see a movie together.
Nishant and I are becoming creative with our New Year's Plans.
It snowed 2 feet for Christmas.
I love my family.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Today is a Dave Barry day.

...And as Americans, we must ask ourselves: Are we really so different? Must we stereotype those who disagree with us? Do we truly believe that ALL red-state residents are ignorant racist fascist knuckle-dragging NASCAR-obsessed cousin-marrying roadkill-eating tobacco-juice-dribbling gun-fondling religious fanatic rednecks; or that ALL blue-state residents are godless unpatriotic pierced-nose Volvo-driving France-loving left-wing communist latte-sucking tofu-chomping holistic-wacko neurotic vegan weenie perverts?

I wish I got the Miami Herald.

Movie of the day: A Christmas Story
-What else would I watch in the Midwest?

Sunday, December 19, 2004

Might I say how incredibly excited I am for this movie? I cannot wait to see it. July sounds so far away...
I saw the preview when Nishant and I went to see Ocean's Twelve and then my brother saw it again during his viewing of Series of Unfortunate Events. Why tease us now? Why? I need to read that book again, it has been since 3rd grade I think. I use to love Roald Dahl's books. My favorite being Matilda.
Oh Johnny why do you tease so now... ;)

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Neil: I'm am the french exam master
Anna: Are you?
Neil: Yes, the french exam was standing there taunting me.
Neil: so I kicked it in the Jimmy
Neil: and it was like "That's all you got?"
Neil: SO I punched it in its teeth.
Neil: and it was like "Oh please no more! You are my master"
Neil: and I was like, "Damn straight"
Neil: That was my morning
Anna: this is your french exam? did it have an accent?
Neil: It did have an accent
Neil: it called me a "Stupeeed Amerikahn!"

Vivid imagination in my family.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Nishant got Amazon!
I'm so excited!
See the exclamation?
I'll be going to Seattle in a year!
I will get to go to India in a year!
I will get to go to Seattle for spring break!
My friends are moving there too!
I'm So Happy!

Movie of the day: Collateral
-Because I need to watch it if I have rented it.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Very curious.
Many, many people have been doing google searches for Chad Franscoviak.
This would be John Mayer's right hand man.
Since I did a blog post about him, oh-so-long-ago, I keep getting people hitting my blog looking for him. I've even had e-mails wanting his address and e-mail.
What happen that I don't know about?
Did John Mayer dedicate a song to him?
One guy even posted on my blog wanting an e-mail but didn't leave ANY information about himself.. Why does he think I'd turn over the e-mail to him?

People are freaks sometimes.

Movie of the day: Ocean's Twelve
- Because I am seeing it tonight!

Conversation I had earlier:

Nishant: I'm so tired.
Anna: Do you want me to bring you coffee?
Nishant: Hun! It is freezing outside I don't want you to have to walk to bring me coffee!
Anna: Ok... Then I'll drive...
Nishant: There is still a walk to your car.
Anna: Ok, fine, I won't bring you coffee.
Anna: What about Chai?
Nishant: HUN!
Anna: Vanilla Chai?
Nishant: Anna!
Anna: Ok fine, Where are you exactly? Are you still at the math library in the same place?
Nishant: Um.... No.... I'm in the Liberal Arts building.
Anna: Good lie. No, really.
Nishant: No really! Can't you hear all the people in the background?
Anna: Oh! I can! They sound like munchkins, or little elves... Are those Santa's elves?
Nishant: Ok.. I really need to study for algorithm's now...
Anna: Are they making me a present? What am I getting for Christmas?
Nishant: BYE HUN!
Anna: Wait where are you going? To help the elves?
Nishant: (in a very sad and whiny voice) HUN......
Anna: (silent grin)

Movie of the day: When Harry met Sally
- Because... fake orgasms in cafes are fun!

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Strange dear, but true dear,
When I'm close to you, dear,
The stars fill the sky,
So in love with you am I.

Even without you,
My arms fold about you,
You know, darling why,
So in love with you am I.

In love with the night mysterious,
The night when you first were there.
In love with my joy delirious,
The thought that you might care.

So taunt me, and hurt me,
Decieve me, desert me,
I'm yours till I die,
So in love with you am I.

So in Love
-- Cole Porter

Very stressful night driving home. The wind almost put me in a ditch for the night.
I love this song. Very haunting.

Movie of the day: De-Lovely
-Cole Porter's life is told in this movie

Crazy Lady

Lately, I feel like I've gone insane.
I say things I shouldn't, I get emotional when I shouldn't, I stay up late when I shouldn't and I snap, completely, at the oddest times.

First example: I had a bad day. It happens. Instead of going to bed early, I decided to take my aggression out on an innocent bystander. Indiana is racist. I hate it with a passion. And since I have an Indian boyfriend, I notice more than the average American. It maddens me beyond belief. Most of the time I go home and cry. On this day though, on my very bad day, I decided to rip into a woman on a random blog about her innocent question about Adolf Hitler. I called her an American in denial. Why would I do that? Later, when I came out of my horrible state, I in turn felt horrible. I went to her blog and posted a comment about how sorry I was.
What came over me?

Second example: I stayed up late. This isn't a big deal to a lot of people. Same with me. When I did lay down though, I laid awake and almost in panic. Every little bad thing that I have done over the 22 years of my life I suddenly thought of. It was horrible. I thought of things I hadn't thought of in years. Growing up experiences that suddenly seemed fresh in my mind like they happened yesterday. My heart pounded while I laid in bed and I finally had to call someone to calm myself. As soon as I hung up the phone the feeling came back and I had to call again.
Why would this happen?

Third example: I cried for no reason. As I drove home today, I was thinking about happy things. In a sudden rush I started crying almost uncontrollably, and I felt like I would never be happy again. If people who commit suicide feel what I felt right then, then I honestly understand suicide more. I suddenly saw Nishant out of my life, school failing, and friends turning their backs. I felt alone. Why would I feel that way?

I know this a very personal post. Enemies have your way with me. I'm very tired of life right now. I feel a fuck-up at it, and I just want to disappear for awhile.

No movies... Just sleep.

Saturday, December 11, 2004

You are a double espresso at 3 AM.
You are a double espresso at three AM.

You are the tortured, nail-biting essence of
coffee. You see visions. You could change the
world if only you were up at the same time as
everyone else. You have created a programming
language that throws errors if the code is not
written in iambic pentameter, and you are
infuriated by the typos in the new edition of
Ulysses. You practice sarcasm as a
form of tantric sex, and your cats have
doctorates. You believe in virgin sacrifice in
a good cause.

What kind of coffee are you?

Thank you Saffron for this one.

Movie of the day: Chocolat
-Johnny and Chocolate.... can't be a better mix.

One of the most wonderful things in nature is a glance of the eye; it transcends speech; it is the bodily symbol of identity.
Author: Ralph Waldo Emerson

An eye can threaten like a loaded and levelled gun, or it can insult like hissing or kicking; or, in its altered mood, by beams of kindness, it can make the heart dance for joy.
Author: Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Hindi vs. Christian

I once had a girl,
Or should I say
She once had me.
She showed me her room,
Isn't it good?
Norwegian wood.

I'm mostly Swedish.
Nishant is all Indian.
I learn about his culture, he learns about mine. We both have a healthy respect for the others.

The other night at B&N I saw a book titled "Holy Cow." On the cover was an image like this.

I thought, "How awful, they just make fun of a culture they don't understand. They dressed up Shiva and added things to him (the one I had made him very feminine)." Then I thought about all the things like for instance the "Buddy Christ" that makes fun of our American "culture" or maybe I should say “religion” since we are the land of the free so to speak. So I picked up the book to read the back. (It was about a girl who went to India without learning about it, an airport beggar said she'd come back for love, and then the beggar was right. And eleven years later she flew back.)
It is the basis for any romantic comedy novel: little bit of magic, little bit of resistance, little bit of love, WHOLE new change of scenery, and wham you have a romantic comedy novel. So I am reading it now, not bad for that type of novel. At least this will give me a different perspective; I'm always craving for more knowledge of India. I'm hoping it won't disappoint me. I first read Arundhati Roy and then Michael Ondaatje and then Salman Rushdie, so this will be a little bit of a stretch, but Oh well, I’m excited nonetheless.

Every teacher you have ever had in your life has had to pass the “Praxis” exam. It is a requirement for all the blue states and about half of the red. Indiana happens to be in that margin so I have to take it.
My mom just recently took it and told me it wasn’t hard. So I felt pretty good about it. The night before the test I got out a “Praxis” book at Barnes and Nobles and kind of flipped through it. That was the studying I did for it.

The next day I got there at the building (after a half an hour searching for it!), and Nishant dropped me off. I thought to myself, “Here goes nothing,” and I walked into the building. On one side of the building there was a huge “Learning Center” for little kids, it was brightly painted and there were little kids everywhere. On the other side of the building was a long hallway. I proceeded down the hallway until I found the “Prometric Testing Center.” I walked into a gray, dismal room. I signed in and sat down in a very uncomfortable chair and started reading the required material to find out all I could about the test I was about to take. It wasn’t before long when the text became boring and I started looking around the room. I noticed the gray carpet, the gray plastic wall protector around the bottom of the wall, the light, light blue walls and the three; yes count them, three pictures which were the only things in the room other than the chairs. What a Looney bin I was sitting in.
The first picture was of pastel birds feeding their pastel young, in a very pastel tree.
The second picture was of a Thomas Kincaid rip off (yes, more horrible than the original).
The third picture was of an Ansel Adams photograph, which normally I love to stare at, but in this room made the feeling more desolate and more eerie.
I started noticing the people. I was only in the room with 4 other people.
One was a sumo wrestler Asian man who looked like he didn’t like soap and water. Very scary indeed. And the other three were all Asian women dressed in very bright colors (it made a nice contrast to the gray and blue) and who were all leaning over a study book for the test. Probably praying they would all pass the test and never have to marry the sumo guy at the end of the row. That’s what I was praying anyway.
I passed the test. It was very simple. It was an endurance trial, rapid fire of questions for 3 hours is never fun, but my intelligence held through it and I passed it with ease.
Thank god, I’ll never have to marry a sumo guy and I can be a teacher.

Movie of the day: The Breakfast Club
- Because I am one step closer to sending kids to detention too!

Monday, December 06, 2004

What Gelett Burgess didn't see.

The Purple Cow's Projected Feast:
Reflections on a Mythic Beast,
Who's Quite Remarkable, at Least.

I never saw a purple cow,
I never hope to see one;
But I can tell you, anyhow,
I'd rather see than be one.

-- Gelett Burgess

Followed with:
CONFESSION: and a Portrait, Too,
Upon a Background that I Rue!

Ah, Yes! I Wrote the "Purple Cow" --
I'm Sorry, now, I Wrote it!
But I can Tell you Anyhow,
I'll Kill you if you Quote it!

-- Gelett Burgess

Isn't Modern Poetry wonderful? Someone can become famous for writing about a purple cow, and then get mad at everyone because he is famous for it. Why write something unless you are going to stand behind it and nurture it? That is why I like blogs, no one remembers one single post, they just read my posts and the thoughts go in one ear and out the other.
A moment's entertainment.

Saturday, December 04, 2004

I love the cool crisp mornings.
Where you walk outside and feel almost clean from the air on your skin.
Your walk is brisk and your breath comes out visibly.
You can almost feel your heart beat and pulse throughout your body.
The only thing that feels cool is your skin and that is only at your nose or ear.
The people you pass by usually have their head down, just trying to get back to warmth. Not me. I enjoy it.
Almost as much as a rainy day, not quite but almost.
When I hit a warm building, my body shudders, but I feel it's because of the warm not the cool.
I wish for snow.

Friday, December 03, 2004

I got two IVs of coffee today.
I love Friday's.

Movie of the day: White Christmas
-Classic! why wouldn't this be on the list!

Thursday, December 02, 2004

I bugged Nishant for many months to teach me some words in his mother tongue.
I finally got him too, and he taught me the words, "Mader chod."
At least I know what cab drivers are really saying.

Today was the first day that I felt self-satisfaction from learning those words.

Normally, for me, there is a rule of thumb for Purdue's campus walkers. If it is sunny and 80 degrees, they can wait for me. If it is thirty below and snowing (today it was 15 degrees F), then I can wait for them to cross a street or cross a road that I want to turn on or whatever.
This isn't true with everyone obviously.
So today I was walking to the Union to get my daily coffee when out of no where this car almost turns into me. Apparently she was desperate to get to the bookstore and thought running me over would be O.k.
I literally turned around walked back to the sidewalk I was on, and made an ushering motion with my hands while saying "Mader chod" in a nice tone. I couple of people who had to stop for this car too, looked at me funny, but as soon as the lady made her full turn, I was walking again.

I honestly felt self-satisfaction using those words instead of American words. The way they have to be said has so much more feeling in it. I didn't feel the need to bitch about it to my roommate when I got home or even tell anyone.

Those two words made the world right again. I have a better appreciation of how cab drivers operate now.

Movie of the day: Bend it like Beckam
- To bad I couldn't learn any more swear words from the movie.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Today was a day that seemed to never go forward and never stay put.
A sideways day.
I watched (in the shower) a tiny bead of water slide down the bottle of my shampoo. I continued to stare at it and the bead of water formed again and slid down the bottle. I don't know how long I stood there, I don't know how many water drops fell. I know that in my bathroom water was evaporating and then cooling and then condensation was formed on my shampoo.
I wonder what happened to the water that managed to escape my bathroom, did it find a good home?

4 and a half hours of sleep is never enough for me.

Movie of the day: Fight Club
- "With insomnia, nothing is real. Everything is far away. Everything is a copy of a copy of a copy. "